Saturday, 27 December 2008

How to Tell If You’re Eating Made-in-China Food

One of the most interesting sites in Singapore is Talking Their humour can be hard hitting but often very funny at the same time.

I particularly enjoy their Singlish Dictionary of commonly used terms. This was one of their contributions that appealed:

So we’re all worried now about buying food that’s made in China because of all the melamine and donno-what-else their unscrupulous manufacturers are putting into it. But sometimes even products that are labelled as coming from elsewhere could have used Chinese ingredients. Seow leow! Like that, how? Dun scared!

Here’s a handy guide on: How to Tell If You’re Eating Made-in-China Food

1. You’re not actually enjoying a romantic candelit dinner. It’s just that your vegetables are glowing.

2. Before you drank that made-in-China milk, you had only two nipples instead of eight.

3. Your family of five ordered a made-in-China turkey for Christmas, and somehow, everybody managed to get a drumstick.

4. After eating, whenever you burp, the TV switches to Channel 8.

5. The slogan on your microwaveable meal is “Just like your peidu mama used to make.”

6. You can tell your chicken comes from China when it’s always loudly spitting phlegm.

7. Think clearly: when was the last time you had to peel a pork rib before eating it?

8. When you squeeze the Chinese tomato, it says in a Beijing accent, “Mmm, bu yao ma, da ge!” (“Ooh, big brother, don’t!”)

9. Those made-in-China Mentos? Made from 100% real Men’s toes.

10. You keep having to visit the Great Bowl of China.

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