It is many, many years since I last wept in bed and in truth I find it hard to remember any occasion when I did.
But this morning, ANZAC Day 2020 I was woken shortly before dawn by my bedside radio and the sound of a bagpipe lament. My eyes were wet with tears - unsolicited, unstoppable.
For some reason this year's commemoration seemed particularly poignant; it could well have been that the ANZAC Day service was, for the first time, a virtual one.
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My Mum and Dad on their wedding day |
The ravages of the COVID-19 pandemic made it so. All Kiwis and no doubt our Aussie mates 'across the ditch', marked the solemn event at home, in our lounges, beds, or standing by our letterboxes in the brightening skies.
My first memories of ANZAC day were the gathering at the Waitara War Memorial where my father and other veterans of World War two stood shoulder to shoulder remembering comrades in arms who never returned. We in our Scout uniforms also stood silently, shivering and respectful.
Dad never spoke much about the war, his capture on Crete and the long year as a POW in Poland and Germany. The veterans of WWII seldom didn't speak about these shared privations, choosing instead to focus on the future.
But ANZAC Day was, and is, different. It is the day New Zealand and Australian troops forged their respective nations internationally, fought side by side and for many paid the ultimate sacrifice.
So as the Last Post sounded this morning and the piper's lament lingered on the radio, I remembered my father, the few army mates of his that fleetingly shared their lives with mine over the years, and I shed a tear.
Dad died in 2003, just two years after he finally agreed to share his memories for the army record with Sgt Beech of the NZ Army Museum in Waiouru.
I have a copy of those tapes and today, ANZAC Day, I will share his youthful journey to the battle fields of Europe and his subsequent incarceration by listening to some of his recollections.
So tears are about the past, memories and sacrifice by others, for others.
We shall remember them.