So said the Google advert that popped up on my Facebook site this morning. Not that having an internal sluice holds any appeal at all, but I couldn't help musing on the clever intrusiveness of today's advertising.
I have a feeling that my advert profile in someone's marketing system is seriously awry and the reason I am getting this menu of medical misfortune is that I have a policy of lying about my age when subscribing online!
As befits my senectitude the online medicos are quite obviously rubbing their hands at the prospect of signing me up to pills, potions and procedures.
In the real world medical tourism is big business, especially in neighbouring Thailand and increasingly in Singapore although I suspect that the current economic slump is translating into less business for the companies who have invested in private hospitals.
There has been no such slump when it comes to the annual Singapore IT Show. On Friday the cash register rang to the tune of more than $21 million of sales. We went yesterday which being a Saturday meant that there were even more people and at times the sea of humanity came to a dead halt, unable to move in direction.
It got so congested that the PA announcements began extolling the virtues of delaying one's visit for a further hour - a bit late when wedged in the middle of several thousand people!
After being jostled for half an hour we made our way to the upper levels and I managed to purchase a 500 Gb portable hard drive for $S179, which was about $60 less than the normal retail price.
My mission is to progressively transform all my digital files currently housed on CD's and DVD's into this drive thereby reducing the volume of plastic CD holders that are cluttering up our drawers.
We hadn't actually gone to Suntec Mall with the idea of the IT show in mind. We were on a far more mundane mission to purchase several packets of their house brand #1 Muesli. The stocking of this product is piecemeal which means that when you find it on the shelves it is advisable to grab as many packets as possible.
I recall from my days in Papua New Guinea that we did a similar thing when a shipment of something arrived from the Antipodes. Occasionally the supermarket freezers in PNG would breakdown or there would be a two-day regional power cut which meant that the local supermarket was forced to de-stock their freezers and giveaway prices. There is of course only so much ice cream that one can eat at one sitting.
The situation is Singapore is of course nowhere near as primitive as Papua New Guinea was in the late '70's but there are other similarities. For example, it is rarely possible to consume the finest export produce in one's own country but come to Singapore and the meat, fish and variety of produce available is, in the main, of excellent quality.