Choc Horror

Kate Middleton

Late April is not a good time to be born a chicken.  Not only is there a 'run' on eggs for Easter but also the forthcoming royal wedding promises to cause problems.

If history is to be believed, any fad displayed by the royal partner-to-be will quickly be picked up by the fashion industry in the UK and slavishly copied by wannabe princesses.

It has been noticeable that Kate Middleton has a fancy for feathers and wears these hat plumes on a variety of outings.

Her deceased mother-in-law succumbed to mega shoulder pads in the 1980's giving a good impression of an American gridiron quarterback.

I am predicting the return of the kaftan and spandex pants and, if all goes to plan, of Big Hair a la Dolly Parton.

As someone who retains dimming memories of the 1953 Queens tour to New Plymouth, specially struck medallions and union jack waving, I have to say that all the hype over the Windsor's latest nuptials leaves me cold.

Dolly's Big Hair Day

A royal wedding is great for the UK tourist industry and no doubt a tonic for some during the dire recessionary times that the country finds itself in.  But given the financial restraints that are in place in England the expenditure on this event seems out of all proportion to reality.

Back in NZ the weekend is awash with chocolate and hot cross buns and people are rushing on to the roads to enjoy the last long weekend holdiay before winter - many maiming themselves in car accidents in the process.

The religious significance of the festival seems to be fast fading with a religious march drawing only a handful of participants and children surveyed at the Easter A and P Show not associating the birth of Christ with the festival at all.  Unsurprisingly the word uppermost in their minds was 'chocolate'.

Far more important to most of us is the Monday observance of ANZAC Day; a time for reflection and remembrance for those who lost their lives serving the country in the two World Wars and other conflicts.

The poppy sellers are out and about (poppies remind us of the flowers of Flanders where some of the largest battles of World War One took place) although there is also some controversy swirling around the production of these paper and plastic replicas.

From next year on these 'flowers' will be manufactured offshore in China as the production costs there are cheaper than using the sheltered workshops of the intellectually handicapped where they have been made in the past.

While this poppy production shift may offer greater returns for the Returned Services Association (RSA) it has further deprived a vulnerable section of our community, which is a great pity.

Meanwhile in Singapore the papers show little or no coverage of either the royal wedding or Easter. All front pages are full of electioneering (largely PAP in content) with the PM being quoted as saying that potential office holders will be "thrown in the deep end".

I suspect the same could be said for Kate Middleton.

Related articles

• Choc horror - Easter Bunny as bad as Santa (news.theage.com.au)

Making Compost And The Full Monty

The news from Singapore this week has been a mixed bag. The most scandalous headline has been the revelation that an expatriate male and his "Japanese looking" woman partner divested themselves of their clothes and walked unencumbered through the expat enclave of Holland Village.

Whatever drove them to think that their fellow diners would enjoy such 'entertainment' is beyond me. However the act clearly had its novelty value, as on the return journey (yes, not content with walking one way they then decided to retrace their steps) many of the local were ready with their cell phone and digital cameras to catch the action.

Quite apart from the fact that to doing the "Full Monty" in a public space in Singapore is regarded as lewd act and carries a court appearance with it, the couple in question clearly had not read the second article that caught my eye in this week's Straits Times - the increasingly prevalence of skin cancer.

New Zealanders and Australians do not need to be reminded of this deadly skin disease but many Singaporeans are blissfully unaware of the consequences even though more and more of them are falling victim to it.

While on the subject of victims, the Sunday paper today covered do-it-yourself tips to help locals weather the worst effects of the recession.

At first glance several of these DIY activities provide tremendous possibilities.

After I have finished making my own muesli bars I may wish to shave my head. To do this I need to but a set of hair clippers priced between $45 and $119 - which rather defeats the purpose really as I could buy a packet of muesli bars on special at NTUC for $4 and my hairdresser would gladly shave my head (what's left of it to shave) for $20.

Other practical advice included 'how to make a cake' and in the section below it, 'how to make compost', presumably using the cake in question after it fails to rise in the oven.

Jesting aside, it is revealing that such advice is needed as I learn to make a cake by age six and the compost heap at the bottom of my childhood garden was a source of mystery, earth worms and pungent odours.

I realise of course that many Singaporeans rarely cook and making their own cakes and muesli bars is something they would not have considered before these hard economic times set in.

As for the compost making, I just hope my condo neighbours haven't been reading the same article and are not out measuring our common access way for a plastic bin.