Yay or Neigh?

Horsing around in the Singapore Media

Some Singaporean wit to start the day.  I am grateful to a friend for sending it to me.  It also reminds me that we often dined at IKEA in Alexandra Road.

IKEA had to recall its meatballs and other products as the'beef' turned out to contain horse meat as well.  To top it off, some of their cakes in Europe were found to have been contaminated by faecal matter -  not a good look.

Addressing the situation in true marketing style they have now re-introduced their meatballs to the Singapore menu at ten cents a piece.  I wonder what discount you can get on the cakes?

Stop Press:  IKEA has set a record in Singapore when it resumed selling its signature meatballs here, it said Saturday.
The furniture chain said it sold 249,375 meatballs in a single day on Friday, which is believed to be the Singapore record for largest number of meatballs cooked and sold in a day.
The 249,375 meatballs are estimated to weigh four tons in total.

Related articles

• IKEA elegantly returns meatballs to our dining tables, at 10cents a piece today!
• Just Say Neigh: Why Some People Are Disgusted by Horsemeat
• IKEA meatballs return with a record in Singapore

Submerged Gambles

One has to feel a bit sorry for the Malaysians.

Last month they discovered to their horror that a couple of their airforce's jet engines had been illegally hocked off to Argentina and this past week comes news of a more recent purchase; a submarine that is unable to submerge.

Not that they are alone in buying dodgy subs from European sources.

A few years ago the Australians purchased some Collins Class submarines. The noise from their operational 'drive shafts' ensured that any enemy would not have to deploy sonar or acoustic monitoring to detect their movement many fathoms distant.

Today is Chinese New Year, our fourth in Singapore since arriving here in 2006. We have a ticket in the $10 million Hong Bao lottery which will be drawn tomorrow, as has the rest of the population. The odds of winning a prize are therefore not great.

With the odds firmly in mind it should also be noted that today signals another milestone in Singapore's gambing history. The first casino at Sentosa opened for business (or 'integrated resort' to mask its real purpose).

Having to front up with $2,000 for an anuual fee to enter it quarantees that we will not be visiting. Compared to Las Vegas where one can enter any number of casinos free and dress down in the process, why would a punter want to pay for the privilege of entering the Singapore version?

If this entry tax was designed to stop the compulsive gamblers amongst the locals and PR's I really cannot see it working. They will simply resort to taking the ferry from Tanah Merah to one of the gambling boats in international waters off Batam (which the 'Aunties' do on a regular basis according to a taxi driver I travelled with recently). The vessel in question is called the Leisure World.

One final comment about Chinese New Year; it is very difficult to find any food places open as most of the hawker stalls are closed.

Even our local Indian stall is closed as the coffee shop proprietor he rents from is Chinese. We had to resort to an Ikea meal of baked chicken after a quarter of hour walk in the mid day heat.

Of Subs And Skum

News this week that the Singapore navy has two new submarines being fitted out in Europe and due for arrival in the new year.

This came as news to me as I wasn't even aware that they had a submarine fleet. Scarcely surprising given the secretive nature of the Service.

The secrecy is quite unlike that experience a few years ago by the Australian Navy when they proudly launched their own home-grown fleet. Unfortunately the propulsion units must have been developed by a diesel mechanics from Wagga Wagga and were an abysmal failure.

They were so noisy that when in motion it was reminiscent of dragging a bridal set of tin cans across the ocean floor, rather defeating the requirement for operations by stealth.

The Singapore Archer class subs. ( the abbreviation for submarine, as opposed to the more popular Subway breadrolls consumed in their thousands each day for rabid Singaporean teenagers) are in fact not new but refitted and upgraded version of a Swedish vessel.

It is a little known fact that the Swedes have been playing around in submarine for 100 years. Their other claim to fame are Ikea meatballs, which have got noticeably smaller in recent times.

Once the size of a billiard ball they now resemble 'tom-bowler' marbles. I tried them once but found them bland compared to the New Zealand home variety. The Ikea version are very popular in Singapore, ranked second to the deep fried chicken wings which are consumed with great gusto.


I always enjoy looking at packaging in other languages. Ikea's product line has some interesting titles such as the package of marshmallow mushrooms (above). Anything with 'skum' in it holds little appeal to me.

Knowing how clever the Singaporeans are at bargaining I suspect a year's supply of meatballs has been negotiated as part of the submarine Archer refit deal.