Igniting The Passions

Bak Kut Teh Herbs

Radio advertising holds little attraction to me; it is a necessary evil that happens between the playing of tracks that I remember from my distant past.

CoastFM here in Auckland plays music I can sing along to and many of the the tunes I used to play in bands in my youth.

There are two recurring adverts that seem to monopolise the airways.  The first is a sexual potency product with the stimulating name of "Herbal Ignite". The second is is a concrete mould and gunge remover called "Wet and Forget".

I can't help but wonder what would happen if the courier van got the deliveries of these two products mixed up?  Very quick growing mould no doubt, or.......?

The copyrighting for the first product's radio advert is mildy amusing with references to satisfied wives and 'big boy'.  Wet and Forget extols the virtues of easy application and guaranteed performance -  somewhat similar to the Ignite I would have thought.

Ignite is New Zealand made and attempts to capitalise on the greener aspects of the country  - "produced in an environment famous world-wide for its pristine mountains and forests, and unpolluted air and water, free from pesticide or heavy metal contamination".

Wet and Forget's web site boasts a green superhero whose aim it is to eliminate the "Muggers of Mossville".

While I rarely listened to commercial radio in Singapore, I hazard a guess that very few of their advertisments were for sexual stimulants, unless one counts Tiger Balm, which is best kept for sprains and bruises.

Tiger Balm has an interesting history having originated from a herbalist of the Imperial Court who set up shop in Burma.  His two sons bought the ointment to Singapore at the beginning of the 20th century.

It is the other parts of the tiger that are meant to turn wimps into studs, but these potions are to be found in Chinatown, not on the radio.

Related articles

• Tiger Balm Gains Momentum (eon.businesswire.com)
• Demand grows for ginseng - so does price (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

Tiger Tiger Burning Bright

Tiger claws are de rigeur amongst the superstitious and apparently readily available in several Singapore outlets. This disturbing piece of news was featured in the Straits Times today.

Just why one would wish to destroy a beautiful and endangered animal like a tiger simply to become the owner of a tiger claw amulet is beyond me.

Evidently 59 outlets were found to have been trading in tiger body parts last month and only seven claimed to have known anything about the trading ban. Such collective amnesia is hard to believe. Some 320 items were seized.

The government meantime continues to gets its claws intom the prickly subject of productivity. With the recession-proofing subsidies being phased out the emphasis is switching to innovation and increasing the productivity of Singaporeans.

Alongside this is the ongoing battle to get the birth rate up. The latest ploy is a combo meal which comes with a free card game. You have to be a couple, preferably married or about to be, for the game to be any fun according to the promotional advertising.

And even you are feeling so inclined after a straight flush, I have it on good authority that tiger will not be featuring on the combo menu.

Submerged Gambles

One has to feel a bit sorry for the Malaysians.

Last month they discovered to their horror that a couple of their airforce's jet engines had been illegally hocked off to Argentina and this past week comes news of a more recent purchase; a submarine that is unable to submerge.

Not that they are alone in buying dodgy subs from European sources.

A few years ago the Australians purchased some Collins Class submarines. The noise from their operational 'drive shafts' ensured that any enemy would not have to deploy sonar or acoustic monitoring to detect their movement many fathoms distant.

Today is Chinese New Year, our fourth in Singapore since arriving here in 2006. We have a ticket in the $10 million Hong Bao lottery which will be drawn tomorrow, as has the rest of the population. The odds of winning a prize are therefore not great.

With the odds firmly in mind it should also be noted that today signals another milestone in Singapore's gambing history. The first casino at Sentosa opened for business (or 'integrated resort' to mask its real purpose).

Having to front up with $2,000 for an anuual fee to enter it quarantees that we will not be visiting. Compared to Las Vegas where one can enter any number of casinos free and dress down in the process, why would a punter want to pay for the privilege of entering the Singapore version?

If this entry tax was designed to stop the compulsive gamblers amongst the locals and PR's I really cannot see it working. They will simply resort to taking the ferry from Tanah Merah to one of the gambling boats in international waters off Batam (which the 'Aunties' do on a regular basis according to a taxi driver I travelled with recently). The vessel in question is called the Leisure World.

One final comment about Chinese New Year; it is very difficult to find any food places open as most of the hawker stalls are closed.

Even our local Indian stall is closed as the coffee shop proprietor he rents from is Chinese. We had to resort to an Ikea meal of baked chicken after a quarter of hour walk in the mid day heat.